The Power of Asking For Help
My native country went through a civil war that significantly impacted my childhood years and destiny. During a specific period of the war, our city was in the middle of heavy gunfire between the opposing groups. To make things scarier for us, my family was under political persecution by one of them. We were in the living room area where my dad had asked us to stay when, all of a sudden, he gave us the order to evacuate our house as bombs were landing near our backyard in what seemed like a targeted approach. He guided us through the door into the street, holding two sticks with white fabric knotted around them, symbolizing peace.
My dad had called our neighbor before our sudden departure and asked if they could host us temporarily. As we walked into their home, my mom collapsed crying in her friend's arms as she welcomed us. I will never forget the image of my mom being terrified and concerned for our lives. We moved house to house for the next few days, trying to get to a safe spot away from the city. We could not carry much with us, so we depended on the generosity and support of those who opened their homes. Eventually, we made it to my uncle's house, where we stayed until we could temporarily flee to a neighboring country. Although I can't deny this experience's negative impact on my life, I would also like to share its positives. First, I was exposed to the power of human kindness early on. The people who opened their homes to us risked their lives to protect us. They welcomed us with open arms and generously provided for our needs. Some were neighbors, some were friends, and some were almost strangers who did not know us well. Those incredible gestures of love and support saved our lives. Second, I witnessed how my dad and mom were willing to ask for help and vulnerably shared their needs with others.
I did not know it then, but asking others for help would become a consistent and beneficial practice in my life. I started my high school journey months after my parent sent me to the US. I was overwhelmed with mixed emotions. On the one hand, I had escaped the war and was excited about my new journey in this fantastic country. On the other hand, the road ahead seemed overwhelmingly difficult. Just having to learn English in a short amount of time felt like an impossible task. I had big dreams, and by the age of fourteen, I already knew I wanted to go to university and had a vision of my future success. Still, I had no idea how to make it happen logistically, from being accepted to a university to affording it financially. As I began my journey, I dove into learning English as fast as possible by spending every single opportunity immersing myself in conversations to practice the language. I studied every day until two or three in the morning, translating my homework assignments. Although I worked so hard during those years, I could not achieve my goals alone. Along the way, a handful of teachers powerfully impacted the direction of my path. They spent extra time helping me practice my English, going beyond expectations by explaining the homework assignments in additional detail, encouraging me as often as possible, and fueling my desire for a better future. Three years later, I received nine college acceptances with combinations of scholarships and financial aid, covering 100% of my tuition. I must mention that I took the initiative to ask them for help, and although it felt uncomfortable and I feared their rejection, I felt it was worth the risk.
In my journey after university, I consistently experienced love and support from others, especially when I felt overwhelmed by specific circumstances. There were times when I did not know how to change directions, especially when it came to my career path, and I would come across people who selflessly would go out of their way to share their wisdom and time. I will never forget the day I met my first mentor. I was attending a church event when I heard a great guest speaker talk passionately about his life. I was so drawn to his personality that I waited to connect with him afterward. I asked him what he did for a living, and he told me he was in sales. I was struck by joy as I've wanted to go into sales for a while now, but I did not know how to do it (I was working as a physical therapist's aide and had just graduated as pre-med). I immediately shared my desire to learn more about sales and asked him if he would mind meeting me again for coffee. He, of course, said yes. After our second weekly meeting, he referred me to a company interviewing for sales representatives. My mentor prepped me for the interview (I had no previous sales experience), and I landed the job after a long day of interviews. This was the beginning of my sales career and a new direction in my life.
I now understand the value of asking for help far outweighs the risk of appearing vulnerable or weak. I know I am stronger together with the support of others. After all, "no man is an island".
JC
Husband | Father | Founder at myTOD