leaving the familiar…rewriting the narrative
Several weeks ago, I stumbled upon an old journal from 2021. As I began to read through it, my heart sank. The entries mirrored precisely the struggles I was still documenting in my current journal. I couldn’t help but feel defeated—caught in my performance-driven mindset that equates progress with success. How could I still be dealing with the same struggles? Had I not grown enough? Had I failed in some way? It felt surreal and disheartening. My initial thought was to stop journaling altogether. I wondered if journaling, rather than helping me, was keeping me trapped in the same cycle of emotions.
But as I wrestled with these thoughts, a new realization emerged: perhaps the journaling itself had served its purpose. Through it, I cultivated self-awareness and the courage to face my big and small traumas. I had reflected on those painful experiences, shed countless tears, and forgiven myself and those who hurt me. In many ways, I had done the hard work towards healing. Yet, I still felt stuck. Then, it hit me: I often cling to the familiar version of myself, even when that version no longer serves me. Instead of creating a new narrative, I revisit the past because it feels safe in a weird, subtle way—even if it’s painful. I hate to admit it, but sometimes, this familiarity creates an emotional high, a strange comfort in reliving old patterns.
So, what’s my solution?
The answer lies in continuing the healing process, not by dwelling on the past but by rewriting my story from a perspective of gratitude and hope. The most powerful gift I can accept is LOVE—starting with self-love. Real self-love means accepting myself as I am: a beautiful creation made up of both strengths and imperfections. It’s about embracing all parts of myself and fostering internal unity rather than breaking myself apart by fixating on what I perceive as “flaws.” Compassion for my struggles and imperfections leads to a sense of wholeness. Then there’s the transformative love I receive from others—a spouse, a best friend, or someone who loves me so purely that their perspective begins to erase the negative images I have internalized from past relationships. This kind of love allows me to open up, share my deepest struggles, and release the power those struggles once held over me. In that vulnerability, healing takes place, and I begin to feel whole again.
Love has a way of manifesting in many forms: self-love, romantic love, friendship, community, or even simple acts of kindness—a heartfelt message, words of encouragement, or a helping hand. These moments of love are powerful opportunities to rewrite the script of our lives. In the months ahead, I’ve decided to continue with my blogging. I will focus on sharing the gifts that help me rewrite my narrative—a narrative that is leading toward wholeness. Love, in all its forms, will be the cornerstone of this journey.
The picture above shows how the wind swept the dark clouds away, revealing a clear and beautiful sky. That’s how I view my life now: the past storms have passed, leaving me to experience the beauty of the present fully. Healing through love is not just possible—it’s transformative. And it leads to a future where wholeness isn’t just a destination but the journey itself.
JC
Husband | Father | Founder at myTOD